My daughters are now 4 and 3 years old, and I feel like someone who has kicked an addiction. Now I have never been addicted to anything, but what I have heard is for a previous addict, every day is a challenge to stay clean.
I feel the same way as a parent. Every day is a challenge to be a good parent.
It is easy to get caught up too much in being a good parent. I know of someone who quit her job so she can make sure her children are getting the best education possible. She pushes her children to the maximum, challenges the teachers to make sure they are pushing her children to the maximum and this goes on every day…even on weekends. How many of you reading this think these children will be successful or happy in life?
I never forget this quote from the Dalai Lama: the more precisely one plan for the future, the harder destiny will hit one.
I try to have general plans for my children and this is the best I can hope for. I want my children to go to a great school, get a 40 hour a week job which pays a lot, and marry a handsome and rich man who treat them with unquestionable love and respect and….time to wake up!!!!
But I try my best because I want to. I do the same in my practice as well. Every day is a challenge to be the best surgeon I can, to be able to handle that difficult patient, to educate myself in the hope I can improve my surgical results. This is what drives us, and I see many become depressed when these challenges are taken away from them. Retirement is a prime example. When I retire, I plan to concentrate on my photography and classical guitar otherwise I will become depressed. We all think and hope our lives were not challenging at all. The reality is that we need some challenge to keep us “alive” and to make us feel “useful”.
Now back to dreaming: I want my children to have beautiful, healthy children and to live long and healthy lives….
Michael A. Jazayeri, M.D. is a board certified plastic surgeon with 16 years of experience. His office is located in Orange County, California. To schedule a complimentary consultation, please call 714-834-0101.